








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 675 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4930 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4439 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2173 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4376 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,186,000 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | warcrimes in switzerland | 57% | 160 |
| #2 | awoope | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | ☭ watamelon ☭ | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | Dr. Sploooge | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Pathtogorry | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ☭ watamelon ☭ | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | Dr. Sploooge | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Pathtogorry | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | ExplosiveEnd | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | MONKE | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | warcrimes in switzerland | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ExplosiveEnd | 6 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | ☭ watamelon ☭ | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | MONKE | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Dr. Sploooge | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | warcrimes in switzerland | 630 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | ☭ watamelon ☭ | 294 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | awoope | 118 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dr. Sploooge | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | MONKE | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scrooge mcduck | +1.74 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | warcrimes in switzerland | +1.06 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | ExplosiveEnd | +0.41 | 50 | 33 |
| #4 | ☭ watamelon ☭ | -0.79 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | Pathtogorry | -1.49 | 51 | 31 |





