








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 131 | 10% |
| Smokes | 403 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 324 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 420 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,456 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | milan | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | cs2 hanyas | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | kaotiq.png | 57% | 30 |
| #6 | SzoviX | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | rektchu | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cs2 hanyas | 8 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | milan | 7 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | kaotiq.png | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | :)( | 2 | 0.0033 |





