








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 207 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2576 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2855 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2135 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2506 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,208,744 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 620 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mommy | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | kaotiq.png | 55% | 149 |
| #3 | :)( | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | milan | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | rektchu | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | :)( | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | milan | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | rektchu | 50% | 104 |
| #6 | Dula Peep | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | SzoviX | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaotiq.png | 19 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | milan | 19 | 0.0241 |
| #3 | Dula Peep | 5 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | :)( | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | mommy | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaotiq.png | 274 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | rektchu | 213 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | :)( | 148 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | milan | 125 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dula Peep | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)( | +2.66 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | rektchu | +1.72 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | milan | +1.55 | 82 | 47 |
| #4 | kaotiq.png | +0.42 | 67 | 50 |
| #5 | cs2 hanyas | +0.24 | 67 | 49 |





