








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1480 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2542 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1990 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2468 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,086 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devin Malone | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Ash | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Evolia Keikoa* -_* | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | |Ωмεgα| EZeKIeLL | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | <Chriiis.D>'Z rGx #! * | 44% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <Chriiis.D>'Z rGx #! * | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | |Ωмεgα| EZeKIeLL | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Devin Malone | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Evolia Keikoa* -_* | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <Chriiis.D>'Z rGx #! * | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | |Ωмεgα| EZeKIeLL | 101 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ikki`` | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Devin Malone | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cl!nT | 29 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boubou {fr} | +2.30 | 70 | 50 |
| #2 | <Chriiis.D>'Z rGx #! * | +1.82 | 58 | 71 |
| #3 | Ash | +1.23 | 42 | 60 |
| #4 | |Ωмεgα| EZeKIeLL | -0.30 | 15 | 80 |
| #5 | Evolia Keikoa* -_* | -0.63 | 37 | 58 |





