








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 962 | 30% |
| Smokes | 588 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1074 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 589 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,295 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greg | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Evolia Keikoa* -_* | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | pierrolamoto | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | `S!n ? | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | "alpacino62" | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "alpacino62" | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | <Chriiis.D>'Z rGx #! * | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Cl!nT | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | pierrolamoto | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ➊ AL-K © | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <Chriiis.D>'Z rGx #! * | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | `S!n ? | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Cl!nT | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | "alpacino62" | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Devin Malone | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <Chriiis.D>'Z rGx #! * | +3.05 | 57 | 71 |
| #2 | Greg | +2.76 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | Boubou {fr} | +2.72 | 76 | 49 |
| #4 | 𝟟𝔽𝕦ℝ𝕪 | +2.02 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Harald | +0.08 | 48 | 30 |





