








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1868 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2342 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2642 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3070 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,628,785 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Locus | 57% | 122 |
| #2 | AJAR-Master | 56% | 64 |
| #3 | HolyCow | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | esaaameister | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | im slow | 48% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | 38 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Locus | 16 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | im slow | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | sage | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Bonk | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonk | 435 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | im slow | 429 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | 406 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Locus | 389 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | AJAR-Master | 161 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im slow | +4.09 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | Locus | +3.08 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | +1.32 | 77 | 53 |
| #4 | Hedelmä (Päärynä) | +0.98 | 75 | 38 |
| #5 | AJAR-Master | +0.68 | 73 | 59 |





