








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 462 | 11% |
| Smokes | 680 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1115 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1811 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,389,340 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 510 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Locus | 54% | 85 |
| #2 | Rabiol | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | im slow | 45% | 40 |
| #4 | AJAR-Master | 44% | 127 |
| #5 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | 44% | 297 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hedelmä (Päärynä) | 31 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | 25 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Locus | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Rabiol | 7 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | AJAR-Master | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | 326 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | AJAR-Master | 297 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Locus | 252 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bonk | 195 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hedelmä (Päärynä) | 191 | 0.04 | 3 min |





