








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2211 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2617 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1811 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2275 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,148,497 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im slow | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | 61% | 147 |
| #3 | Hedelmä (Päärynä) | 57% | 122 |
| #4 | HolyCow | 56% | 80 |
| #5 | sage | 54% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | 15 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | AJAR-Master | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Hedelmä (Päärynä) | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | sage | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | HolyCow | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJAR-Master | 334 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | 179 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | im slow | 119 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hedelmä (Päärynä) | 85 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bonk | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im slow | +4.06 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | Locus | +3.99 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Pramea & Pröystäilevä | +1.65 | 78 | 50 |
| #4 | Hedelmä (Päärynä) | +0.35 | 73 | 37 |
| #5 | AJAR-Master | +0.02 | 71 | 61 |





