








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3225 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3041 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2487 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2612 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,052 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ groovy | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | nippy jizzler | 53% | 64 |
| #3 | zimm | 52% | 71 |
| #4 | fknjonny | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | jsk | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReM | 178 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | jsk | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jzor | 143 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | d00fensmertz | 115 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | nippy jizzler | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ groovy | +3.52 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | nippy jizzler | +1.13 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | Jzor | +0.72 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | vial of water | +0.19 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | d00fensmertz | +0.08 | 72 | 50 |





