








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2030 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2021 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2928 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3087 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,679,245 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | jsk | 45% | 94 |
| #10 | fknjonny | 44% | 79 |
| #11 | ReM | 41% | 167 |
| #12 | vial of water | 41% | 166 |
| #13 | Jzor | 40% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReM | 19 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | vial of water | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | samthemanwise | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | 원숭이맨 | 9 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | Pay56 | 7 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReM | 703 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | vial of water | 511 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | Jzor | 397 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | jsk | 375 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | SLACKJAWED SHAPESHIFTER | 200 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pay56 | +3.46 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | nippy jizzler | +2.42 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | ReM | +0.95 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | Jzor | +0.71 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | d00fensmertz | +0.62 | 74 | 52 |





