








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1892 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1828 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 741 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1654 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,594 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gdx. | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | JCNeoN | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | ppX | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | pwnage | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | BigHandsome | 51% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BigHandsome | 51% | 147 |
| #6 | Chef Dan | 44% | 93 |
| #7 | factorop | 41% | 34 |
| #8 | blues | 41% | 32 |
| #9 | Ahgama | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigHandsome | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | pwnage | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | factorop | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigHandsome | 408 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | blues | 151 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | pwnage | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | JCNeoN | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ppX | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | factorop | +5.79 | 94 | 55 |
| #2 | gdx. | +5.62 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | pwnage | +3.54 | 88 | 49 |
| #4 | MustStopLosing | +2.95 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | JCNeoN | +2.80 | 68 | 65 |





