








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1632 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2501 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2313 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1142 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,505,731 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigHandsome | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | gdx. | 62% | 104 |
| #3 | MustStopLosing | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | ★ Kazehana | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | -CopperieX | 59% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ppX | 58% | 222 |
| #7 | JCNeoN | 58% | 179 |
| #8 | frax | 55% | 159 |
| #9 | Chef Dan | 50% | 34 |
| #10 | 3s0k | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ppX | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | frax | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | -CopperieX | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | MustStopLosing | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Chef Dan | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frax | 577 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | ppX | 508 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | JCNeoN | 411 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | -CopperieX | 357 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | gdx. | 235 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Kazehana | +2.44 | 61 | 68 |
| #2 | JCNeoN | +1.93 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | pwnage | +1.80 | 87 | 45 |
| #4 | gdx. | +1.15 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | MustStopLosing | +0.38 | 69 | 57 |





