








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1526 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1760 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1873 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,457 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Β΄chillz | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | tommy | 57% | 58 |
| #3 | speedwaylucas | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | πΌππ©ππππ | 55% | 108 |
| #5 | BibleS1mple | 45% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | speedwaylucas | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | πΌππ©ππππ | 55% | 108 |
| #5 | BibleS1mple | 45% | 102 |
| #6 | YourLocalDuck | 43% | 30 |
| #7 | zAndrew | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BibleS1mple | 24 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | πΌππ©ππππ | 22 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | tommy | 14 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | speedwaylucas | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | YourLocalDuck | 5 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BibleS1mple | 372 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | speedwaylucas | 104 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | πΌππ©ππππ | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | zAndrew | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Β΄chillz | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speedwaylucas | +3.67 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | tommy | +3.05 | 78 | 46 |
| #3 | YourLocalDuck | +1.92 | 85 | 29 |
| #4 | πΌππ©ππππ | +1.22 | 78 | 40 |
| #5 | Β΄chillz | +0.31 | 82 | 45 |





