








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 984 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1318 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1510 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 516 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,670 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm Sawry | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | bong | 47% | 178 |
| #3 | Sad Butter | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Skeletor | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm Sawry | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | bong | 47% | 178 |
| #3 | Sad Butter | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Skeletor | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bong | 23 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Skeletor | 10 | 0.0222 |
| #3 | Sad Butter | 6 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | I'm Sawry | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bong | 306 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sad Butter | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Skeletor | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | I'm Sawry | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sad Butter | +0.54 | 74 | 49 |
| #2 | Monex | +0.52 | 64 | 37 |
| #3 | bong | +0.08 | 52 | 49 |
| #4 | I'm Sawry | +0.02 | 72 | 17 |
| #5 | Skeletor | -2.05 | 46 | 59 |





