








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1978 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1337 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 914 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,554 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAFE Medical Science | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Primordial Nut | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | ddddddddd | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Poop | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | he aint built for that | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Primordial Nut | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | ddddddddd | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Poop | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | he aint built for that | 48% | 64 |
| #6 | Cooked | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primordial Nut | 15 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | TAFE Medical Science | 15 | 0.0325 |
| #3 | he aint built for that | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Cooked | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAFE Medical Science | 201 | 0.44 | 4 min |
| #2 | ddddddddd | 116 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cooked | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Poop | 55 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Primordial Nut | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAFE Medical Science | +1.95 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | xXTrenEater64Xx | +1.82 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Poop | +0.45 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | he aint built for that | +0.29 | 79 | 30 |
| #5 | ddddddddd | -0.28 | 69 | 70 |





