








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1620 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1863 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1891 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2054 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,874 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 755 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eeeeee | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Poop | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | xXTrenEater64Xx | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | ddddddddd | 45% | 166 |
| #5 | TAFE Medical Science | 45% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ddddddddd | 45% | 166 |
| #5 | TAFE Medical Science | 45% | 78 |
| #6 | he aint built for that | 44% | 135 |
| #7 | Primordial Nut | 42% | 43 |
| #8 | Last round, buy up midget porn | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAFE Medical Science | 31 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | Primordial Nut | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | ddddddddd | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | he aint built for that | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | xXTrenEater64Xx | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddddddddd | 1004 | 0.29 | 24 min |
| #2 | TAFE Medical Science | 511 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #3 | xXTrenEater64Xx | 268 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | he aint built for that | 77 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | eeeeee | 67 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eeeeee | +4.37 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | Poop | +3.13 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | TAFE Medical Science | +3.06 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | xXTrenEater64Xx | +2.23 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | ddddddddd | +1.14 | 69 | 72 |





