








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7132 | 43% |
| Smokes | 3851 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1954 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3534 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $972,186 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 735 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | icuble | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | krogg | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | garlic | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Poop | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | eeeeee | 53% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Cooked | 45% | 166 |
| #9 | he aint built for that | 45% | 220 |
| #10 | TAFE Medical Science | 44% | 195 |
| #11 | Primordial Nut | 38% | 74 |
| #12 | Last round, buy up midget porn | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAFE Medical Science | 1138 | 0.29 | 21 min |
| #2 | Cooked | 376 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | eeeeee | 249 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | he aint built for that | 195 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | Poop | 140 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poop | +4.62 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | TAFE Medical Science | +2.95 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | eeeeee | +2.54 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | krogg | +1.71 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | ddddddddd | +0.62 | 66 | 70 |





