








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 412 | 17% |
| Smokes | 873 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 565 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 508 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,015 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattanDee | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Christoffer D | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | RobbaN | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattanDee | 178 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Majjkdee | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Smarre | 68 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | RobbaN | 59 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Christoffer D | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |





