








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3578 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5357 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4751 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4527 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $962,263 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amph3t4mine | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | ciggymuncher | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | AHHHFOOEY! | 53% | 60 |
| #4 | Lil Bear | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | Shennys | 51% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | IN_SURGENT | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | Braveks | 47% | 38 |
| #8 | Burnt Toast | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | garry | 42% | 38 |
| #10 | Brk | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brk | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Shennys | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Braveks | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | AHHHFOOEY! | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Lil Bear | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shennys | 151 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | IN_SURGENT | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | AHHHFOOEY! | 90 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Brk | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Burnt Toast | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shennys | +2.98 | 78 | 51 |
| #2 | IN_SURGENT | +0.73 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | Lil Bear | +0.46 | 41 | 42 |
| #4 | カカシ | +0.32 | 80 | 53 |
| #5 | AHHHFOOEY! | -0.49 | 57 | 44 |





