








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 129 | 14% |
| Smokes | 250 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 263 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,930 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice Spice | 50% | 16 |
| #2 | siblos | 39% | 38 |
| #3 | Lil Big Man | 38% | 39 |
| #4 | LELE | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | JRoze | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | LELE | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | JRoze | 31% | 39 |
| #6 | gucciboah | 27% | 26 |
| #7 | MadePoorly | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | dog bless | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siblos | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Lil Big Man | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | gucciboah | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | dog bless | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Big Man | 161 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | siblos | 135 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | JRoze | 61 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | LELE | 44 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | gucciboah | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LELE | +2.39 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | Lil Big Man | +1.94 | 64 | 74 |
| #3 | siblos | +1.58 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | gucciboah | +0.89 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | Rice Spice | +0.36 | 63 | 46 |





