








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1219 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1344 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1485 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1233 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,811 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MadePoorly | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | dog bless | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | siblos | 53% | 101 |
| #4 | JRoze | 53% | 177 |
| #5 | Rice Spice | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JRoze | 53% | 177 |
| #5 | Rice Spice | 51% | 41 |
| #6 | Lil Big Man | 51% | 150 |
| #7 | LELE | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | Sleepy Joe | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Big Man | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | siblos | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Rice Spice | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | JRoze | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | LELE | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Big Man | 688 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | siblos | 341 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | JRoze | 286 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | LELE | 117 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | dog bless | 102 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Big Man | +1.69 | 60 | 73 |
| #2 | siblos | +1.39 | 59 | 65 |
| #3 | LELE | +1.30 | 52 | 70 |
| #4 | gucciboah | +0.45 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | JRoze | +0.23 | 72 | 51 |





