








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1756 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1123 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1841 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1214 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,786 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syd ♡ | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | $Billy Billion$ | 53% | 115 |
| #3 | NxtLvlStupid | 51% | 209 |
| #4 | Big Truck | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Jesse | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NxtLvlStupid | 51% | 209 |
| #4 | Big Truck | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Jesse | 50% | 28 |
| #6 | $Mega Mitochondria Memphis$ | 49% | 291 |
| #7 | $Ţrum♠ŋ 1ø stax$ | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $Mega Mitochondria Memphis$ | 41 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | NxtLvlStupid | 19 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | $Billy Billion$ | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Jesse | 9 | 0.0166 |
| #5 | $Ţrum♠ŋ 1ø stax$ | 6 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $Mega Mitochondria Memphis$ | 623 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | $Ţrum♠ŋ 1ø stax$ | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | NxtLvlStupid | 59 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jesse | 50 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Big Truck | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesse | +4.28 | 85 | 23 |
| #2 | $Billy Billion$ | +2.43 | 62 | 23 |
| #3 | $Easton Escrow$ | +1.29 | 65 | 42 |
| #4 | Big Truck | +0.62 | 37 | 54 |
| #5 | $Ţrum♠ŋ 1ø stax$ | -0.35 | 69 | 44 |





