








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1985 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2572 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1743 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1931 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,400 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emile | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | iigLu | 61% | 146 |
| #3 | n3b[s] | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | AngelGBG | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | CaptCuba | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AngelGBG | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | CaptCuba | 60% | 25 |
| #6 | bluef0x | 59% | 37 |
| #7 | DJANGO | 58% | 19 |
| #8 | GAZERBEAM | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iigLu | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | DJANGO | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iigLu | 570 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | emile | 117 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | n3b[s] | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | DJANGO | 79 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | bluef0x | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xanakin | +1.52 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | iigLu | +1.25 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | n3b[s] | +1.23 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | CaptCuba | +0.95 | 90 | 31 |
| #5 | emile | -0.09 | 56 | 76 |





