








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 421 | 25% |
| Smokes | 460 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 431 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 393 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,035 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bagarn | 35% | 20 |
| #2 | 𝕍𝕚𝕛𝕒𝕪 | 35% | 86 |
| #3 | Tova_ | 23% | 43 |
| #4 | 𝓹𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓸 | 22% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bagarn | 35% | 20 |
| #2 | 𝕍𝕚𝕛𝕒𝕪 | 35% | 86 |
| #3 | Tova_ | 23% | 43 |
| #4 | 𝓹𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓸 | 22% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓹𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓸 | 40 | 0.0625 |
| #2 | 𝕍𝕚𝕛𝕒𝕪 | 24 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | Bagarn | 11 | 0.0280 |
| #4 | Tova_ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕍𝕚𝕛𝕒𝕪 | 238 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Bagarn | 67 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | 𝓹𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓸 | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | Tova_ | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasse | +2.03 | 74 | 38 |
| #2 | 𝕍𝕚𝕛𝕒𝕪 | +1.30 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | Bagarn | -3.86 | 50 | 56 |
| #4 | 𝓹𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓸 | -3.90 | 49 | 11 |
| #5 | Tova_ | -3.98 | 47 | 1 |





