








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 345 | 12% |
| Smokes | 789 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 846 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,853 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SOIJAMIES | 55% | 104 |
| #3 | Petri | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Jamal | 52% | 93 |
| #5 | huoraneekeri | 45% | 56 |
| #6 | Kiero | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamal | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | huoraneekeri | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | SOIJAMIES | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Kiero | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamal | 640 | 0.35 | 16 min |
| #2 | SOIJAMIES | 472 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | huoraneekeri | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Petri | 48 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kiero | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SOIJAMIES | +3.27 | 70 | 76 |
| #2 | huoraneekeri | -0.08 | 62 | 59 |
| #3 | Jamal | -0.37 | 41 | 53 |
| #4 | negone | -0.61 | 57 | 48 |
| #5 | Petri | -1.51 | 85 | 60 |





