








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1538 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1705 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1531 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1175 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,437 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | froz | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | ö Laars | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | larrYe | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Kivari | 53% | 134 |
| #5 | Minessonn | 49% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | larrYe | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Kivari | 53% | 134 |
| #5 | Minessonn | 49% | 69 |
| #6 | nabero | 44% | 48 |
| #7 | mZky | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kivari | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | nabero | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | froz | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kivari | 605 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | nabero | 126 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | mZky | 38 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | ö Laars | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | larrYe | 28 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kivari | +5.11 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | ö Laars | +3.58 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | froz | +1.06 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | Grv | +0.06 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | nabero | -1.11 | 62 | 57 |





