








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3256 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3683 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2226 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3037 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,717 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Hannubob | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | ö Laars | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | froz | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | Grv | 53% | 134 |
| #5 | larrYe | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Grv | 53% | 134 |
| #5 | larrYe | 53% | 34 |
| #6 | nabero | 52% | 89 |
| #7 | Minessonn | 50% | 56 |
| #8 | Pelottava Poistaja | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grv | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | nabero | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | froz | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | larrYe | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ö Laars | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grv | 391 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | nabero | 265 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | froz | 209 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | larrYe | 117 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | ö Laars | 110 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kivari | +3.90 | 91 | 70 |
| #2 | ö Laars | +2.95 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | Pelottava Poistaja | +0.84 | 87 | 55 |
| #4 | froz | +0.78 | 85 | 57 |
| #5 | Grv | -0.38 | 77 | 61 |





