








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3002 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2083 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1266 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1825 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,676 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | shrimp | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | clat | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | Encara Westi | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | shrimp | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | clat | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | Encara Westi | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clat | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | holdz | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | shrimp | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | 155 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #2 | clat | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | shrimp | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Encara Westi | 52 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holdz | +2.63 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Rick Astley | +2.34 | 78 | 51 |
| #3 | shrimp | +0.49 | 41 | 38 |
| #4 | clat | -2.54 | 28 | 41 |
| #5 | Encara Westi | -5.66 | 28 | 36 |





