








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
68 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 46 | 40% |
| Smokes | 13 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 36 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $18,784 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leman Russ | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Brother Hiroki | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Cuppy♥ | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | The Mangolorian | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leman Russ | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Brother Hiroki | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Cuppy♥ | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | The Mangolorian | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | 3 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | The Mangolorian | 2 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Brother Hiroki | 1 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Leman Russ | 1 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #2 | Cuppy♥ | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | Brother Hiroki | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | The Mangolorian | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Leman Russ | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brother Hiroki | +4.51 | 76 | 32 |
| #2 | Cuppy♥ | +2.45 | 25 | 45 |
| #3 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | -1.09 | 65 | 44 |
| #4 | The Mangolorian | -2.29 | 8 | 56 |
| #5 | Brother Limb | -2.67 | 49 | 21 |





