








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 313 | 16% |
| Smokes | 554 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 468 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 565 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,206 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Mangolorian | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Brother Limb | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Cuppy♥ | 52% | 60 |
| #4 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | 47% | 72 |
| #5 | Drax | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Brother Limb | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Cuppy♥ | 52% | 60 |
| #4 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | 47% | 72 |
| #5 | Drax | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | Dustalope | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Cuppy♥ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | The Mangolorian | 1 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dustalope | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Cuppy♥ | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | Brother Limb | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Drax | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brother Hiroki | +2.42 | 70 | 50 |
| #2 | Drax | +1.80 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Cuppy♥ | -0.56 | 23 | 38 |
| #4 | Chapter Master Tu'Shan | -1.49 | 54 | 52 |
| #5 | Brother Limb | -1.87 | 48 | 21 |





