








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 70 | 8% |
| Smokes | 199 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,101 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEP_15 | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | āz1m0nā | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Gubbe | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Drake | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Kudsk | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | āz1m0nā | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Gubbe | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Drake | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Kudsk | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | Tjange ā” | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drake | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Kudsk | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubbe | 53 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | Drake | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Kudsk | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | SEP_15 | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | āz1m0nā | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | āz1m0nā | +7.44 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Kudsk | +4.89 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | SEP_15 | +3.89 | 86 | 75 |
| #4 | Gubbe | +3.18 | 78 | 78 |
| #5 | Drake | +1.09 | 77 | 61 |





