








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 19% |
| Smokes | 523 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 676 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 477 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $280,371 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpinoBBB | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Gubbe | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | SEP_15 | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | Kudsk | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | sLamu | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SEP_15 | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | Kudsk | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | sLamu | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | āz1m0nā | 47% | 32 |
| #7 | Tjange ā” | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kudsk | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | SEP_15 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubbe | 119 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Tjange ā” | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | SEP_15 | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kudsk | 63 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | āz1m0nā | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubbe | +2.18 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | sLamu | +1.91 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | Drake | +0.67 | 77 | 49 |
| #4 | āz1m0nā | +0.04 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | Kudsk | -0.36 | 71 | 52 |





