








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 566 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1161 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1656 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1441 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,435,341 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Andre (Code) | 40% | 42 |
| #6 | Armadillo | 37% | 158 |
| #7 | xofnu | 32% | 84 |
| #8 | Powy | 26% | 74 |
| #9 | niab03 | 23% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Armadillo | 35 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Muryo | 30 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | xofnu | 20 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | Powy | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Murster | 6 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Murster | 191 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Muryo | 162 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | xofnu | 147 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Armadillo | 135 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Andre (Code) | 128 | 0.15 | 4 min |





