








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 857 | 20% |
| Smokes | 839 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1358 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1163 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,124,112 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Powy | 36% | 55 |
| #7 | Muryo | 36% | 87 |
| #8 | xofnu | 34% | 79 |
| #9 | Andre (Code) | 30% | 23 |
| #10 | niab03 | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tizzy | 28 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Muryo | 18 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | xofnu | 17 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Spicemistro | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Powy | 3 | 0.0027 |





