








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1083 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1614 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1160 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1029 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,723 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anab0b | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Rytkön Ville | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Bruce Wayne | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | allu | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | kivezza | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kivezza | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | Timo | 54% | 99 |
| #7 | Ninjakana | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | MarkkuSaatana | 49% | 75 |
| #9 | BIG T | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarkkuSaatana | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Bruce Wayne | 6 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Timo | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Rytkön Ville | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | kivezza | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarkkuSaatana | 285 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | BIG T | 121 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Timo | 93 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | kivezza | 50 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bruce Wayne | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ninjakana | +3.01 | 67 | 77 |
| #2 | MarkkuSaatana | +2.45 | 75 | 77 |
| #3 | agentpinkpony57james | +2.13 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | Anab0b | +0.56 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | kivezza | +0.17 | 56 | 65 |





