








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 20% |
| Smokes | 731 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 868 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,622 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chillaxo | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Dose | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | gadfly | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | kdnkenny | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Fatboy Slim | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dose | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | gadfly | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | kdnkenny | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Fatboy Slim | 46% | 37 |
| #6 | Punkrock / Lode | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatboy Slim | 7 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | kdnkenny | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | gadfly | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatboy Slim | 66 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | gadfly | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dose | 21 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Punkrock / Lode | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Chillaxo | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gadfly | +3.50 | 55 | 63 |
| #2 | Chillaxo | +1.84 | 56 | 41 |
| #3 | kdnkenny | +0.87 | 82 | 46 |
| #4 | Dose | +0.11 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | BadBoyRammy | +0.01 | 50 | 57 |





