








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 342 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1026 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 796 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 408 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,640 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chillaxo | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | gadfly | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | BudZillus | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | Fatboy Slim | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | BadBoyRammy | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gadfly | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | BudZillus | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | Fatboy Slim | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | BadBoyRammy | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | Punkrock / Lode | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatboy Slim | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | BudZillus | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | gadfly | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BudZillus | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | BadBoyRammy | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Fatboy Slim | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chillaxo | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | gadfly | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gadfly | +4.69 | 62 | 57 |
| #2 | kdnkenny | +0.91 | 74 | 48 |
| #3 | Chillaxo | +0.55 | 42 | 49 |
| #4 | BudZillus | -0.90 | 42 | 55 |
| #5 | BadBoyRammy | -1.08 | 44 | 52 |





