








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5276 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5042 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5060 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4019 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,541,669 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlrpsyaner_13 | 49% | 245 |
| #2 | | aEngie ❤ | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | jTc.HAOS | 48% | 69 |
| #4 | gadfly | 45% | 360 |
| #5 | HoRIzoN | 44% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gadfly | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Dose | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | jTc.HAOS | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | xlrpsyaner_13 | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | HoRIzoN | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gadfly | 693 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | xlrpsyaner_13 | 552 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Dose | 379 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | HoRIzoN | 331 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | mr.fl0ppY | 214 | 0.17 | 5 min |





