










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 301 | 24% |
| Smokes | 278 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 413 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 247 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,631 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PinkHawke | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | the duck | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Jordsvin fra Kumasi i Ghana | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Adlerman | 43% | 46 |
| #5 | H3ct0r | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H3ct0r | 7 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Pol smoking Pot | 6 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | PinkHawke | 4 | 0.0203 |
| #4 | Adlerman | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Jordsvin fra Kumasi i Ghana | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pol smoking Pot | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Jordsvin fra Kumasi i Ghana | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | H3ct0r | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Adlerman | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | PinkHawke | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |





