








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 373 | 28% |
| Smokes | 286 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 293 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 374 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,343 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydro | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | DED | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | sex god 420 | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | fourskyn34 | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | NARI | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DED | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | sex god 420 | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | fourskyn34 | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | NARI | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | FURRYLOVER | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FURRYLOVER | 20 | 0.0784 |
| #2 | DED | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | sex god 420 | 2 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | NARI | 2 | 0.0290 |
| #5 | fourskyn34 | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DED | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | FURRYLOVER | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | sex god 420 | 16 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hydro | 12 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | fourskyn34 | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow | +2.67 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | DED | +2.29 | 82 | 50 |
| #3 | NARI | +1.11 | 39 | 22 |
| #4 | FURRYLOVER | +0.28 | 97 | 29 |
| #5 | sex god 420 | -0.23 | 75 | 41 |





