








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 672 | 29% |
| Smokes | 684 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 340 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 598 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,514 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | godkU | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | jod | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | jaredd | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | Frosty | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 82% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | Fogel | 43% | 7 |
| #19 | haznoodle | 40% | 5 |
| #20 | delew0w | 40% | 5 |
| #21 | Chicken Joe | 40% | 5 |
| #22 | PeNguiN5 - stratbase.app | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ s0ra | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Hosuja | 54 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪ s0ra | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Vonex | 42 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | jod | 36 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | jaredd | 35 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trouto | +4.33 | 93 | 58 |
| #2 | jaredd | +3.98 | 95 | 77 |
| #3 | delew0w | +3.61 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | godkU | +3.54 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | T1mM | +2.41 | 75 | 63 |





