








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 191 | 15% |
| Smokes | 74 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 520 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 472 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,348 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boo | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Sheydayo | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | PET3R | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Tikowi | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Namárië | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | High Ground | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | Jelly | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | doodle | 46% | 24 |
| #9 | Schmoody | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | foul | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doodle | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | foul | 4 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Schmoody | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | High Ground | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foul | 82 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | doodle | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Schmoody | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | High Ground | 24 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jelly | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tikowi | +6.85 | 81 | 20 |
| #2 | High Ground | +6.16 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | doodle | +2.87 | 63 | 43 |
| #4 | Namárië | +1.91 | 71 | 32 |
| #5 | foul | +1.00 | 51 | 54 |





