








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 693 | 16% |
| Smokes | 856 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1341 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1330 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $793,517 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etossi | 57% | 63 |
| #2 | Tikowi | 57% | 92 |
| #3 | brochi | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Namárië | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | foul | 45% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | foul | 45% | 109 |
| #6 | doodle | 43% | 109 |
| #7 | bj | 43% | 35 |
| #8 | PET3R | 36% | 28 |
| #9 | Boo | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doodle | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | foul | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Tikowi | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | etossi | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Namárië | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foul | 327 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | doodle | 201 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | etossi | 188 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tikowi | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Namárië | 67 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doodle | +1.45 | 52 | 54 |
| #2 | foul | +0.49 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | brochi | +0.47 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | Schmoody | +0.20 | 56 | 37 |
| #5 | Namárië | +0.12 | 81 | 49 |





