








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1681 | 37% |
| Smokes | 915 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1051 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 862 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,684 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | KukkaKaali | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | He ho goons | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Appii | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Anka_Ankka | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Anka_Ankka | 45% | 40 |
| #6 | _wiikz_ | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Pave | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | friendlyMK | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | jäätelö | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | friendlyMK | 10 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | He ho goons | 8 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Anka_Ankka | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Pave | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Appii | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | friendlyMK | 157 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | He ho goons | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Anka_Ankka | 32 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bob | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pave | 20 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sauna Timo | +1.94 | 53 | 68 |
| #2 | friendlyMK | +0.97 | 41 | 59 |
| #3 | He ho goons | +0.82 | 28 | 39 |
| #4 | Bob | +0.59 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | KukkaKaali | -0.53 | 19 | 34 |





