








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1462 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1316 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1007 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,782 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DedAss | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Nice Cut G | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | ms ^v^ The guy above me is cheat | 72% | 25 |
| #4 | Kilo | 65% | 34 |
| #5 | THE BEEBS | 59% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kilo | 112 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | THE BEEBS | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nice Cut G | 68 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ms ^v^ The guy above me is cheat | 62 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | DedAss | 60 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nice Cut G | +5.83 | 97 | 67 |
| #2 | Pruvv | +4.96 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | ms ^v^ The guy above me is cheat | +4.01 | 100 | 59 |
| #4 | DedAss | +3.89 | 97 | 63 |
| #5 | Yellow | +2.46 | 92 | 63 |





