








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 164 | 17% |
| Smokes | 197 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 302 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 291 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,368 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jahi | 75% | 12 |
| #6 | Pekzuu | 70% | 33 |
| #7 | ✞Kypäjyrä✞ | 68% | 34 |
| #8 | R L O T | 65% | 34 |
| #9 | paskabiceps | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R L O T | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | paskabiceps | 4 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Pekzuu | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ✞Kypäjyrä✞ | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Red Cat | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R L O T | 172 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✞Kypäjyrä✞ | 167 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Red Cat | 108 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pekzuu | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jahi | 53 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞Kypäjyrä✞ | +3.62 | 82 | 78 |
| #2 | NIQQI | +2.21 | 68 | 30 |
| #3 | Mentos | +1.41 | 90 | 66 |
| #4 | Pekzuu | +0.61 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | paskabiceps | +0.22 | 79 | 69 |





