








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 148 | 27% |
| Smokes | 88 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 146 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 172 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $12,719 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | icky | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | チャーミングなバラ姫 | 41% | 46 |
| #3 | heccs | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | DAVƎ | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | ner0_ | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | heccs | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | DAVƎ | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | ner0_ | 40% | 43 |
| #6 | ✪ koiva | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | eck | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | チャーミングなバラ姫 | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ner0_ | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | icky | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | DAVƎ | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | eck | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | チャーミングなバラ姫 | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | ner0_ | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | icky | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | heccs | 22 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | eck | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ koiva | +5.82 | 92 | 37 |
| #2 | チャーミングなバラ姫 | +4.93 | 59 | 48 |
| #3 | icky | +3.23 | 43 | 57 |
| #4 | heccs | +1.94 | 20 | 51 |
| #5 | ner0_ | +1.61 | 35 | 38 |





