








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 703 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1101 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 853 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1097 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,595 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ koiva | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | icky | 63% | 106 |
| #3 | チャーミングなバラ姫 | 56% | 150 |
| #4 | eck | 48% | 108 |
| #5 | DAVƎ | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | チャーミングなバラ姫 | 22 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | eck | 16 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | heccs | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | icky | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | ✪ koiva | 6 | 0.0220 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | チャーミングなバラ姫 | 223 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | heccs | 189 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | icky | 144 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | eck | 74 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | GarfieldFan3005 | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ koiva | +8.26 | 91 | 20 |
| #2 | チャーミングなバラ姫 | +4.82 | 64 | 55 |
| #3 | icky | +3.00 | 46 | 55 |
| #4 | ner0_ | -0.15 | 37 | 35 |
| #5 | heccs | -0.17 | 23 | 48 |





