








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 26% |
| Smokes | 467 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 344 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 412 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,838 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lumen | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | ZeroNewt | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | d1FFzZ_ | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | Krishanlal | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | smokesh_^ | 70% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Krishanlal | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | smokesh_^ | 70% | 66 |
| #6 | KushCake7 | 67% | 6 |
| #7 | Eddy4k | 67% | 15 |
| #8 | emilia<3 | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smokesh_^ | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | KushCake7 | 2 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | lumen | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smokesh_^ | 148 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Eddy4k | 64 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | lumen | 62 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | KushCake7 | 34 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | emilia<3 | 21 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lumen | +4.86 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | d1FFzZ_ | +4.17 | 87 | 47 |
| #3 | smokesh_^ | +3.64 | 87 | 52 |
| #4 | emilia<3 | +1.55 | 81 | 43 |
| #5 | KushCake7 | +1.41 | 80 | 58 |





