








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1670 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3340 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1372 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1777 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,314,087 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheVapeDeity | 53% | 346 |
| #2 | ○ Am ₛᵧₙₜₕ Doge | 52% | 375 |
| #3 | nOu | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Meloni | 51% | 362 |
| #5 | Shitshot Sam | 47% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nOu | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Meloni | 51% | 362 |
| #5 | Shitshot Sam | 47% | 206 |
| #6 | Deputy Kaleigh | 43% | 79 |
| #7 | Tiger | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheVapeDeity | 28 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Meloni | 17 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ○ Am ₛᵧₙₜₕ Doge | 16 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Shitshot Sam | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Deputy Kaleigh | 7 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ○ Am ₛᵧₙₜₕ Doge | 1841 | 0.24 | 45 min |
| #2 | Shitshot Sam | 1027 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #3 | TheVapeDeity | 779 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #4 | Meloni | 740 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #5 | nOu | 212 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ○ Am ₛᵧₙₜₕ Doge | +1.43 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ JG | +1.18 | 72 | 39 |
| #3 | TheVapeDeity | +0.39 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | Tiger | -0.65 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Meloni | -0.88 | 81 | 47 |





